Connectors: what you were taught vs what we actually say

When you learn to structure an argument in French, textbooks introduce a whole battery of formal connectors: par conséquent, de ce fait, par voie de conséquence, néanmoins, toutefois… These words are real, you’ll find them in newspaper editorials and formal essays. But in everyday conversation, they essentially disappear.

To express consequence, French speakers use one word above all others: du coup. That’s it. You might also hear donc, but “par conséquent” almost never comes up in casual speech.

The same logic applies to listing ideas. Written French uses premièrement… deuxièmement… troisièmement. In conversation, you’ll almost always hear de un… de deux… de trois instead.

For example: “J’ai adoré ce film parce que de un, l’histoire est incroyable, de deux les acteurs sont hyper talentueux et de trois, les images sont magnifiques.” That’s how a French person actually talks. Knowing this lets you adapt to the right register depending on where you are, and understand what you’re hearing.

Grammar: where spoken French gets flexible

Spoken French doesn’t throw the grammar rules out the window, but it does bend them in consistent, predictable ways. Two examples come up over and over.

The subjunctive after negative opinion verbs. You’ve learned that after je ne crois pas que, je ne pense pas que, je ne trouve pas que, the subjunctive is required. So in theory: “Je ne crois pas que ce soit une bonne idée.” Correct, but in everyday conversation, most French people will say: “Je ne crois pas que c’est une bonne idée.” The indicative replaces the subjunctive. You still need to know the subjunctive (it’s essential), but understanding this flexibility explains a lot of what you actually hear.

The présent de narration. This is one of the most distinctly spoken features of French. When a French person tells you a story, even one that happened yesterday, they’ll often switch from past tenses to the present mid-telling. Not by mistake: it’s deliberate. It makes the story feel live, immediate, and draws the listener in.

The second version puts you inside the story. That’s the effect French speakers are going for, and once you recognise this technique, live conversations and films become dramatically easier to follow.

Rhythm: shorter sentences and the words that make you sound human

Written French prizes long, elegant sentences, relative clauses, participial phrases, carefully balanced structures. Spoken French does almost the opposite. Native speakers break ideas into short chunks. Subject, verb, object. Then the next idea. Then the next. When you speak French, give yourself permission to keep it simple. Nobody is marking you on style. The goal is to be understood.

And then there are the filler words. These are crucial, not because they carry meaning, but because they’re what makes you sound like a real person rather than a phrase book. In French, the main ones to know:

• —Euh and bah: the equivalent of “um” and “well”. They signal that you’re thinking, not that you’re lost. Use them freely.
• —Tu vois (“you see / you know what I mean”): pulls the listener into your story. Often used mid-sentence to check that the other person is following.
• —Tu sais (“you know”): same idea, slightly more casual. In fast speech, often shortened to t’sais. You’ll hear it constantly.
• —En fait (“actually / in fact”): used to introduce a clarification or a twist. Very common. Very versatile.
• —Bon bah: a gentle transition, roughly “so anyway” or “right, so”. Signals you’re moving the story forward.

Knowing how to hesitate in a language is a genuine sign of fluency. It shows you’re thinking in that language, not just reciting from memory. So don’t be afraid of the pause, the euh, the tu vois. They’re not mistakes. They’re how French people actually talk.